loss

Coming home tonight, we discovered that the neighbors were having car troubles.  Instead of hurrying inside so we'd only be half an hour late for bed time, we stayed to see what they were doing to fix it.  The kids climbed up on the little white fence so they could see better.  They were enthralled by it.  Their excitement and interest caused mine to grow, as it always does when the people I love are excited about something (excluding anything to do with Twilight).

This entire deployment there have only been a handful of times when I am painfully aware of Kim's absence.  Tonight is one of them.  Yonah is full of questions now about what lies under the hood of a car.  These are questions I do not know how to answer.  But Kim could answer at least the basics.  They could go out together to look at and tinker with ours.  I can't put into words how important that special connection between a father and his child is; I don't think I have to, though.

Sometimes, the tragedy of a fatherless child is overwhelming to my heart.  I can almost feel God's heartache.  This is not how it was meant to be.  Thank goodness that for these precious children of mine this is only temporary.