nightmare

I really hate driving. I do not trust the drivers (or pedestrians, or cyclists) around me. I do not trust my reflexes to be fast enough if someone isn't paying attention. I am terrified that, no matter how careful I am, I will wind up in a wreck. And the likelihood is that my kids would be in that car with me.

Today, I witnessed that fear become real life for other people. It was more shocking than I'd imagined. There wasn't any slow motion. The crash happened so fast I hardly had time to recognize it.

Two vehicles just suddenly span away from each other after what appeared to be a head-on collision.

It only lasted a few seconds.

I don't understand how something so quick can do so much damage. And yet, I had to help keep the boy calm and still, despite the blood all over his face; first while waiting for the paramedics to arrive, and then while waiting for them to remove the unresponsive adult from the car first.

Thanks to emergency vehicles unintentionally blocking in my car, I got to see the whole messy affair, from start to almost finish.

I still feel sick from it all.

For a teeny bit more information, here is the link.

yonah and the horses

Today Yonah came with me to help out at Blazing Hope.

He was a big helper! He swept out the barn, fed horses, and helped to groom a few.

A few lessons were also learned (more than once). Normal boy stuff like, no climbing on the horse's pen like a crazy child, no throwing hay at the horse, no using a handful of hay as a lightsaber, no running at horses tied and waiting to be groomed.

I didn't get to help as much as I would have liked, but it was still a great time. I enjoyed watching and helping him. And, anyway, it's all for the kids. I'm just there to help where ever needed - and today, that meant keeping an eye on a very excited, and slightly absent-minded boy as he eagerly worked so hard.

And then . . .

After a long, long wait, while horses were warmed up in the big round pen . . .

He finally got to ride.

This was something he was very excited about.

Until he realized just how big horses are when you're standing right next to them. And just how far away the ground is when you're sitting on their back.

But he gave it a try anyway, and absolutely loved it.

I am so proud of him.

what better?

Sitting

Where the grass is cool against your bare toes

The leaves above rustling in the breeze

The sun's warmth trickling through the green shelter

And bugs going peacefully about their day.

Enjoying the familiar world around you

while your mind explores

the new world

hidden in the pages

of your book.

Right now I am reading A Game of Thrones, by George R. R. Martin. What books have you enjoyed lately?

moving forward

The flow of my life became stagnant. Instead of paddling forward, I just sat. Slumped. Sinking.

This week I decided that I am done with that. I won't get anywhere if I don't make myself get there.

My ultimate plan for my life involves using horses that I own as a ministry for kids struggling with depression and other such similar issues. (With a slight focus on teenage girls, since that was when I most needed horse time.)

The only problem is . . .

Horses are expensive. Otherwise, I'd have one already.

I know God will bring the finances required when we are ready for them. But there are things I can do now to prepare.

For instance:

Today I began helping a friend with two retired horses at the ranch she lives on. I get to do all the nice-to-have-done-but-not-crucial-to-survival things, like grooming. She's going to be teaching me lots more horse know-how.

Earlier this week I began volunteering at Blazing Hope Youth Family Ranch. Essentially, they do what I plan to. I'm excited to not only learn the ropes of the ministry and spend some extra time around horses, but also to help bless the lives of the kids involved.

I've learned that I'm so horse crazy that I find spending hours detangling manes and tails, or even mucking out stalls, to be heavenly. It is hard work, but it is good work. The kind that leaves me happy and peaceful. Refreshed.