spring

Yesterday, we took advantage of the beautiful weather by walking to a little nearby park. Yonah prefers it to the big one we live very close to. He says because he's "still a little bit little", the little park is best. I think what he really likes is the walk.

The little park, our usual destination, is too far for him to walk there and back yet - especially with the playing done while we're there. So for now he still rides in the double stroller. Really he's too big for it, but he hasn't yet mastered the concept of pedaling. He's very close. It's just difficult to learn when you've outgrown the bike you have.

(We're thinking of getting him a new bike next month for his birthday. Shh! It's a secret.)

Today, we got to turn off the heater and have all the windows open, enjoying the fresh air during our Dungeons and Dragons game.

It was also nice to be able to send the kids out to play when they were just a little too rambunctious for the indoors.

I'm definitely looking forward to more of these beautiful days.

peekaboo

The day a baby realizes the fun in peekaboo is an amazing day. An incredible feeling that takes place when your efforts are rewarded with more than a blank stare. Not even having three kids can diminish the delight.

It isn't just about easily winning a precious smile or chuckle, though that is certainly a nice perk. It's about witnessing one of the first recognizable signs of maturity. It's about being able to really start interacting with your baby.

Glorious.

expectations

I try too hard.

Last night I had an opportunity to play with my camera some more.  But the play only lasted for a little while.  Whether I wanted to admit it or not (and I didn't), I started competing.  Instead of taking pictures that I can appreciate personally I started trying to take pictures that certain other people would be impressed by.  The result is that far too many of the hundreds of shots I took are ones that I am unsatisfied with.  The same thing occurs with all my artistic endeavors.

Recognition of my talent is something that I crave more than I would like to admit.  I want people to love what I do as much as I do.  The irony is that the more I focus on that, the less I love what I create.  Expectations must be abandoned; other people must vanish from the mind; passion must be unleashed; all other thoughts must be pushed aside.  Otherwise I misuse the gift that God has given me.

another day slips by

So, yesterday, I had this post all ready; the only thing it was missing was the typing it up part. I was constantly rolling it around in my head, picking out the words I would use, considering applicable pictures (long blocks of text are so boring). It was only this morning that I realized I hadn't actually typed it up, hadn't actually posted it. I'm one of those people who, when enough mental effort goes into doing something, I start feeling like and thinking that I already did it. When I am tired this tendency increases.

I had wanted to write about the little bit of heaven on earth for kids that we discovered yesterday morning.  It is a wonderful place - a place for children to play and parents to relax.  Normally the thought of places like this really freaks me out.  I can't just sit and let the kids play because I'm too worried about something happening.  I wasn't sure about this one.  But my friend had his first ever book signing there, and I was not going to miss it.  And then, once I stepped in the doors . . . It was instantly a place I trusted.

So I sat.  And they played.  And they were so sad they were in tears when, two hours later than I'd intended, we had to leave for lunch and nap.  I don't blame them, that place had everything.  We will be making regular trips there from now on, at least until we have more room for them to romp (a backyard would be wonderful) and downstairs neighbors who won't be calling the landlord because they're being the kids that they are.  (How I long for the end of our apartment living days . . . )

It was incredible to see them having so much fun.  Watching Yonah spend a few minutes playing Lego's, then a few minutes playing trains, then on to reading books, then riding these incredible life-like horses I would have died for as a little girl, then shopping, then sliding, then swinging from sturdy ropes in the playground area, then moving on to the next thing.  Spending only a few minutes on each activity because there was so much to do, so many kids playing, so much fun occurring, and he wanted a part in it all.  Watching Arabelle play confidently, assured in my continued presence on the couch.  She wasn't as enthusiastic about things as Yonah were.  She was quite intimidated for the first hour, actually.  But soon, she was off on her own; shopping, mostly.  Boy, did she love those little grocery carts.

And while I sat there, only casually keeping tabs on where they were and what they were doing, the thought occurred to me that that; the chaotic happenings with learning lurking in every creative activity; the automatic instinct to share and get along with all the kids present; the delight and wonder to be had in every little nook and cranny; the complete removal of all the junk that goes on in the day to day life, all those pesky little distractions; the ability to completely immerse yourself into and enjoy every single moment as it happened; even just the soothing atmosphere as you sat and observed - it was all a glimpse of what heaven is.

I can't wait.

Edit:  If you're in the area and wish to experience that delight and wonder, check out Just Kid'n Around.